When you're with people, you notice a change in the mood faster than anyone. And once you notice it, you're the first to act.
So before anyone has said a word about being uncomfortable, you've already stepped back or started going along with the other person.
People see you as deeply considerate. But really, you want the awkwardness to end so badly that you can't sit with the discomfort, so you move first.
What you're good at
You notice discomfort that no one has said out loud. And because you deal with it before it turns into an argument, the people around you often never know which fights they avoided thanks to you.
What you often hear
- “You pick up on everything.”
- “You don't have to go that far to please everyone.”
What wears you out
What wears you out isn't going along with people; it's when they don't notice. You think, 'Do they just take this for granted?', and you feel tired of all the times you watched their mood and gave way.
For the people around you
Because you step back first, you rarely have big fights with the people close to you. But the hurt you've held in piles up, and when it all comes out at once over something unrelated, the other person is left thinking, 'Where did this come from?'
Worth trying
When you're not fine, don't say "I'm fine." Just once, say honestly, "This makes me a little uncomfortable." After seeing a few times that saying so doesn't break anything, looking out for people will feel much lighter.