You think ahead about what the other person might need, and you have it ready before they say anything.
You pick a meeting place near their home and food they like, and take care of it all without being asked.
The person on the receiving end thinks, 'How did they even think of this?', and is grateful. But often, nowhere in that plan is there anything you wanted.
What you're good at
You deal with anything that might make the other person uncomfortable before it comes up. Because you prepare what's needed in advance and plan around the other person, the things you do together go smoothly without getting stuck.
What you often hear
- “How did you think of all this?”
- “Tell me what you want to do too.”
What wears you out
Having your care taken for granted is what really wears you down. When no one notices the time and thought you put into preparing, you catch yourself thinking, 'Why did I go to all this trouble?', and from then on, looking after them starts to feel like a chore.
For the people around you
You adjust everything so the other person is comfortable. But because you always plan around what they want, the longer the relationship lasts, the more your own tastes disappear from it.
Worth trying
Put one thing you want to do into the next plan first. Only when a plan built around them has at least one thing in it for you can you keep looking after them without wearing out.